…

panic.attack.

my dad

this could be the first time i really write about my dad.

He is a loving husband. That ditto whatever his wife said. Can be sarcastic to her. He thinks he sounds funny, we think so too but he dont know his wife dont take it well sometime. My parents, they are not perfect but they always do their best.

I let him down. Nothing hurts me more than letting my parents down. I basically put the options on the table and let him decide if i should or should not move forward

daddy : as your parents, we want the best for you. If there is a chance, i will definitely give you. Given that you appreciate and do your best.  you have so much more to walk, i left only 20 years (i fucking flood my eyes, it suddenly struck me..my parents dont live forever). Ive got nothing to lose. You must remember, you must rest well in order to complete what you should do. This applies on your studies and your future life. If you dont rest well, there is nothing u can do properly.

..sorry that ive did so many stupid avoidable mistakes in my life. I said sorry but i know its not gonna heal or make you feel better. As im typing this, he called and tell me to stop being sad, move forward.. and try my best again.

i dont deserve this honestly.. i took everything for granted. But one thing i know now, do better, and make him proud.

Thank you, for being such supportive father. Despite your annoying nagging and your mistakes that sometimes haunts me.. you are my best dad. you deserve a much more better daughter. unlike me.

WHY

why are you so effing attractive

heart went *mika mode when i see you

cant get a grasp of you tho..

just gotto evaluate you base on feelings i guess

i hope ill get you in the future. our future.

man i totally love you.

BIRKIN