it is when you are sick, you’l actually find out who really cares or concerns about you.
and also ugly truth to endure. People whom you think might ask “how are you” prolly never once ask about your condition.
Thank you to those that asked. and some asked me almost everyday since they found out Im sick. It meant alot to me. *loves*
And i also know who are never meant to be my friends at all.
Told myself its alright. Perhaps it is slightly hard to accept but i believe ill feel nothing in no time.
To my special guardian angel.
Thank you. You are there to see me fall and rise. There to see me gone through relationships. Found the right one. Marry the one and have my own child. You are still here watching. Dont think you’l be able to ditch me anytime soon yeah? I do always gives you hard time. Throwing whatever rubbish on your face. But you always taught me well. Thank you thank you. But ill never say this in front of you unless im dying i think.Nyway.. lets be happy forever =]
Havent really write a review of being a young mother. Here i go.
FACTS
looked like shit. not really. Saggy boobs. very. in fact i feel very sad looking at my boobs sif lifes been suck out from them. Skin condition is OMFG BAD ( i have high expectation ) after 2 months delivering blythe. All my glow glow bullshit gone. Im all dry and pimply. DONT FUCKING TELL ME MY COMPLEXION IS OK! coz only i know how bad its gone. i have freckles than can feed you for a year.
low self esteem …not really coz never really been shy..true i do not know how to differentiate low self esteem and shyness. Saggy tummy..what saggy tummy?! its always been saggy its ok. Hips…prolly bigger than jupiter.
been asking sam everyday am i fat. and he will sayย im beautiful. WTF WAS THAT? direct insult!!
but its true im more beautiful now. Beautiful as in i feel more fulfilled.
The BULLSHITS.
“sad huh you cant party anymore”
i feel sad for you if that is your idea of having a child. Im not going to speak for all mothers im not even a good one to begin with. I always think when you think you are good enough, youl l just stop dead on a certain level. I party i go out quite alot. Best if i can bring my girl along but its just impossible unless im just shopping. My evil girl just dont siit still !
I think a healthy young mom should have a proper scheduled lifestyle. When there is a party you go. Not like you go everyday. But if you ask me is partying or going out is happier than spending time with my girl, i tell you now its a different kind of happiness.
I always have people asking me, is it true that when your girl smiles to you, you forgotten all the headache you have? or rather reality. NO. 60% of me will be thinking , oh my whatever god, im so happy to have her. I must have been an angel past life ( if i have one ). 40% of me. freaking out. AM I GOODD ENOUGH FOR HER? will i be able to give her an atleast comfortable life in the future. I do not know about other mothers, but i am one that thinks alot about future. I really want to give my best to her. If possible she will not need to worry if she’l be hungry or is there enough money for her to spend for her shopping. Yes i want that life for my daughter. like how my parents be able to fork me.
Is sex life as good’? no definitely. Because it has turned into another level that i cannot put in words. I do not miss him with all the butterflies in my stomach anymore. instead i will be worried if he doesnt pick up my call or i cant sleep without him beside my bed. Why is sex is not that frequent anymore. Because we rather spend our time., hugging and talk tillย we falls asleep. Or worry about expenses ( YES I DO WORRY ABOUT EXPENSES ) so its different now…or we’l be more worried if we;l wake up our princess… yaya too much details shut up don read.
Do i wanna get married. No i do not want to get marry. Not this young, not forever. I do not want to get married at all in fact. I love to be free. But since im already in marriage. All i can do is do my best. Temptation is always around and it all depends on how im gonna cope with it.
I did my part very well. That is to believe in that sanctity of marriage. I will go through ups and down, pain and death with sam. If you have anything to say, just come to me. I will slap you =]
I showed Sam everything, He said..”Jing fai yan” worthless being.
I showed my friend the same thing and she said “don bother”
Its quite sad when i concern about a person, at the end ill only get wounded all over. If a women loves a women, she dont give him shits. Most important thing is when im dancing in the club, my man is beside me having fun with me. Not separated from me.
I do not have a perfect life. Neither a perfect wife or mom. But im doing my best with giving out whatever possible.
p/s:ย Im not happy that im justifying myself. You shouldnt be happy as well because people see you as a problematic cunt.. come ask me who tells me that.
