Mommy
Yesterday before i could fall asleep, i was thinking what should i give my kid? Should i be sending them to music school or whatsoever. Then it strucks me.
“you will reckon not, until you become someone’s mother” she tells me that.
I hated her. She sent me to gazillion classes that i do no enjoy. I spent my childhood on tuition classes and not playing sands or barbie ( i do have ps la back then ). I said it strucks me when i thought of my mom. She’ve sent me to so many classes, if i take the same path, will my kid hates me? I went evaluating inside my mind.
I once told her i love see-ing people dancing and she threw me to ballet class at 4. Yes i love dancing, but she do not know i love ballroom dance which im too young to understand. She just send me to ballet class and thinks im happy about it. She did not know i felt miserable until im 8 when im allow to do other modern dance and joining performances.
I like violin and she sent me to piano class also at 4. Again she does not know what i really want. When i told her that i would love to take violin and drop my piano. She said im already halfway thru my piano, i ought to finish it before i can take up violin.
I love drawing comics and she threw me to PAINTING CLASS! wtf! this is the most horrifying experience. OMFG painting, scetching, art theory and history IS FUCKING BORING. Im so reluctant to attend classes back then. Manga and..painting…is so fucking different. I still felt fucked up when it all came back bashing my memories. Finally my mom listens and let me stop, teachers kept telling my mother i have talent i shouldnt be stopping, but really..i dont care about talent. I just hated the whole ordeal. All went on for 6 years!
I said i wanna learn other languages. SHE PUT ME INTO CHINESE CLASS!! ROARSSSSSSSSssss!!! im so fucking talented that my teacher disown me after 2 years. She told my mom. “Mei yee is very smart but she doesnt seems to like this course at all” muahahahah true..we have oral test and “ting xie” which is spelling. When i do oral, ill always peep for pinyin below those words. When i ting xie..i just memorise all the stupid words and usually scores full marks. Pathetically, i do not know what they meant.
All im doing is to make my mom feels that im not wasting her money. But right now..i was thinking, im not happy and not enjoying wasnt that opposing my mom’s effort? After all the mind fucking elaborationg..i realised that im the one that does not appreciate what my mom had done for me.
If i were not to join those classes, i think ill not be as independent as now. I will not have all the confidence to associate and communicate with any kind of peoples. I would not be a person who plays any songs just by listening, paint a painting, scetch my dog, strip dance for hubby kidding, or read song lyrics.
Mom, thank you for enduring my stupidity and childishness. You’ve gave me the best. I love you and im not panicking what kind of mother ill become. But i know, if my kids wanted chinese, piano, violin, art class or dance class..they have a free tutor. Thats me =]
My dad is a very temperate person. Along the way he’s the one who hugs me and kiss my forehead when my mom brush me over..i just do not know how to thank them.
5 months now
October 28 2008 05:01 pm | Juicy bits of sins and Pregnancy/Baby and emo toto and yip yapping
October 28th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
mm..parents always do things that they reckon are good for their kids without actually thinking properly of how they might feel..but we’ve all grown up now..n we will learn to appreciate them =)
but take this as a lesson…Communication is the most important step when making decision! =D I’m sure u’re going to be a good mummy!!! =D
October 28th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
It always take years, and more years to actually know what our parents had did/sacrifice for us, and thank god that they are still alive when we finally understood what they had done for us.
October 29th, 2008 at 6:32 am
Every parents want to give the best to their kids. They are afraid in case they missed out something and one day you might grow up feeling regret for not being given a chance doing this n that so they let u learn early. Bcos nobody knows what you wan to do when u grow up ma, suddenly u say u wan to become a famous ballet dancer ler? U can’t do it at later life unless u learn ballet from young or else bones harden liao kenot bend your body lol.
If my father not so poor back then couldn’t afford to buy me a piano, I would have a chance to learn piano or other musical instruments. Bcos I dun have opportunity to learn things that I like which in future will lead me to a very different path. All I have is books, I can only work it out in academic if I want to be successful somehow. Medicine is all memorising and a boring thing to do. You know I admire people who can play music and compose their own song.
October 29th, 2008 at 6:34 am
sorry for so chiong hei ahahah. I think you are still too young to be a mum but you will pick up soon. Plus got someone so ‘lou peng’ (me) with thinking 20 yrs ahead our age. Dun worry I will make sure u will be the best hot momma in Kajang, Selangor and some say Malaysia!
October 29th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
lol, agree with huei. it all boils down to communication. i’m sure you will also give your best to your kids. hehehe.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:09 am
u’re always the luckiest girl i’ve met so far =)
mayb i didnt put myself in ur shoe but what ur parent did is for ur own good as they want the best for u. they dont know what is ur need since u dont hv much communication with them.
u know u shud b grateful, ask littlehoo to treat them nice they will be happy i’m sure =)
October 30th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
What a stomach you had got!haha~~
Well belle i’m so happy because you had a happiness family,Even ur mother do not know what really you want.But she did what she knew the best for her daughter =)
Good luck and take care
October 30th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
so yeng!
October 31st, 2008 at 11:37 am
cool!! so did u know the gender of the bb yet?? Congrats though!!!
October 31st, 2008 at 6:25 pm
lover : yeah communication! i think ill be attending child’s psychology session.
yung : before i got married, i think those expression of mommy’s are obligatory fake when their daughters are getting married. now it’d happen to me.. those tears are for real.
yy : we dont need to be the best parents in the world. We just wanna provide thats necessary and shower all blissfulness to our kids. We’l make sure we do good. thanks anyway.
p/s: its never too late to pick up something. i picked up violin at 17. nothing is too late, as long as u you know what you are heading to.
andy : frankly speaking, i do not know whats the best. Every parents has their flaws.But im sure im the kind of mother that’l shed blood for kids anytime.
Sl : agreed =] *hugs* i do not know about being luckiest..but i felt all lucky im pregnant beautifully
Qing : “best” for kids, is a very subjective matter. Who am i to think whats the best for them? yes i bring them to the world but..what makes me think i could decide things they doesnt like. Mind fucking seriously, but ofcoz ill try my best! thanks !!
Jamy : like alien
Julieann : wait for the next update you’l know =]] thanks!
November 4th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
i look so weird! i will give my baby everything that good for her/him. the first one must be pony! and everything that i don have when i was akid =]
November 9th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Whatever you want to give to your little Belle in the future, just make sure he or she like it. The most important is he or she grows up a happy kid.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:30 am
sam : …u want your girl to ride that early?! psycho!
Jam : yeap. thats what every parents hope for. but im sure mother will always be a mother. If i do not see my kid’s way of happiness make sense then dont bull with me.
November 15th, 2008 at 12:46 am
bagi la nama aku. YASmine just add up a E. haha. ok what? pretty much like me. ive link u at my blog. link me backkkkkkkkk