=)(
oh whatever i dont even know wat kinda emotion im in now
its bashing me fuckingly hard causing me unspeakable hearthache and i now hardly breath..
( hmmmpf not bad )
wat is missing now? i have no idea at all.i wish i know and damn myself coz m whining non stop ere.it seems tht i have a almost perfect life now.yes i could have whatever i want …exclude salvatore tht i love so much ok? thts not possible for my age and with my allowance level now.even if sotong agrees to get salvatore for me it’l take his whole month salary just for a pair of heels LOL!so..
back to main point.so wats missing? i have money,very good frens,good sotong,good family ( at times ) but yet i dont think i am satisfy at all!…i do think its because of the greed within..when i dont get somthing I DIE DIE WORK HARD FOR IT,when i got somthing I OWNED it like mad..when i OWNed it..i tend to get bored and *toss* there u go byebye * kiss goodbye bitchily *..
when i own something.. i make sure its 100% mine..i wouldnt share i dont fucking care even if it belongs to someone else.i want wat i want wat i want ( adapt from eva -despo housewives- ) its bloody selfish and the lust for glory is freaking me out.somtimes when the desire to own somthing rose up..i barely know myself anymore..as in..when i even wanna own a human..i don fucking care even if i deserve it.i just wanna own it ( wrong to use it upon human..oh well don k la )..when i realise i own it..i tend to erase the past they had..coz i hated it when soemone have them b4.
evil me.
now im asking myself do i need to do so? does this means i dont love but its just desire to see wat level of attraction i hold upon opposite sex?i fuckingly think im a bloody slutty now..still i think it ends when i met my ex..its not about owning someone but loving them more thn u love yrself..i used to love him ..
no one told me tht there is an expiry date in love.there is a non written contract in love…u love someone doesnt me he or she will love u as much.i met him who loves me more thn myself even till now.yet there is nothing more i could contribute tht i withdrawn myself from the sanctuary.
just when i tot its hard to fall in love again..M in love.At 1st i tot..i just wanna own this someone..now m very conscious and realise i dont wanna own anyone anymore…i just wanna treat someone good from within expecting nothing in return.this special someone mades me realise love isnt bout oneself..its bout accepting each other’s flaw..educating each other and moulding a compatible lovers tht could last till the end..
.just wanna live a humble life..wit someone who i think worth my softer side.
i feel much better after i realise wat causes my misery..im asking tonnes of question without answer i tot..now i have it.could sleep tight till funny questions haunts me again..
till then..B needs to get some nap..
May 24 2007 04:28 am | Juicy bits of sins and emo toto
